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Jul 19 '06 - 1369 W, 3 I - Vote Good + 14 :: Bad - 12 Malcolm BMX: Good Ideas Don’t Leave You Stinky

Published July 19, 2006 by C.I.C.L.E.
Contributed by Brady Russell   for C.I.C.L.E.

Rabbitboy peaked around the corner of the alley to look up and down the street. Without turning round to say it, he reported back to his compadres, “No 5-0.”

Malcolm BMX and Goliath walked their cargo bikes around him and up the street half a block. BMX pops Rabbitboy on the back of the head. “’5-0’.”

Rabbitboy moved in front of them, wheeling his fixed gear to the front and taking out the thick, plastic card from his vestpocket. The one BMX had lifted for him from one of the building’s tenants. He slid it against a box near the door and pushed the door in. No problem. Rabbitboy hit the handicapped access panel and the two others wheeled their big bikes inside and let the doors close behind them while Rabbitboy scurried behind them to get his own bike inside.

They were in the entryway of an office building at 14th and K in Washington D.C.. The space was Living Room sized, all marble walls. It had a reception desk that no one sat at, elevators to the right and a couple service doorways toward the back. Goliath moved their stuff where it would not be so much in sight, Rabbitboy duct-taped a large piece of black plastic in front of the doors and BMX picked the locks to both the doors. It only took him about 20 seconds each. They were just normal locks. Nothing fancy behind them.

The first door opened into a hallway. BMX walked inside and picked one more lock. It opened into the Engineer’s Room, a large space for mops, building supplies, various control panels and the building blueprints. This room was adjacent to the first lock he’d picked. BMX went back to that, opened it up and found piles of sheet rock, ‘Wet Floor – Piso Mojado’ signs and trash all over the floor. Atop all that sat a couple of bikes. A sign on the wall said, “Bike Room – management not responsible for thefts.” The room had no place to secure the bikes, so both of the bikes that were left had locks through the back wheel and the frame.

Rabbitboy and BMX moved all the junk into the hallway they had opened. When they finished that room, Rabbitboy started clearing out the Engineer’s Room. BMX started messing with the pipes, but Rabbitboy didn’t notice because Goliath had switched on the chainsaw. He was cutting a hole in the wall to the Engineer’s Room from the Bike Room. When he finished, he had a doorway-sized hole. He started putting up the skeleton of a door. They’d have to leave it unfinished, though, because they had not brought a door. The management would have a door. BMX had thought they might find an extra, but they didn’t.

Rabbitboy asked, “I don’t get it. Shouldn’t folks just embrace it as part of living a saner lifestyle?”

“Gotta meet folks where they’re at, Rabbitboy.” Malcolm BMX said. Rabbitboy had asked him from the hallway, where he’d been struggling to get some more sheetrock over buckets he’d set out first. He went back into the Engineer’s Room to argue with the boss a little, and he found the nation’s leading bike revolutionary sopping wet. He’d opened up a pipe before shutting off the water to it. He’d thought he’d turned it off.

All he knew about plumbing he’d learned biking out to workshops at the Home Depot.

“Get me some of the pipes,” BMX said.

Rabbitboy brought those back, and he also brought in some PVC. He started assembling these large, rectangular cages. He knew what order to do everything in. BMX had it all planned out, who did what, in what order. It all went that way, too.

Rabbitboy set up four different cubicles. Thin. Tall. Little bigger than a football player’s space. BMX had spliced out two pipes that ran above them all.  He assembled his own webs of smaller, copper pipes. He had valves and spigots running out of them. Goliath secured it to the wall, along with the cages Rabbitboy had built.

Goliath unrolled another piece of the garage door stuff onto the floor and built six inch walls up around all its edges. He covered the inside of it with a solid sheet of plastic that he hot glued in. It looked like a very big tray for sheet cake.

Malcom BMX got out a large drill, and drilled a hole in the floor. He carefully went in and cut a smaller hole in the building’s sewer pipe, and fitted a drain into the floor. Goliath cut a comparable hole into the bottom of his large plastic tray. They lifted the cages up, slid the tray under, matched the hole with the drain and fitted them into each other.  

Then they unrolled hard, opaque plastic between each of the cages. The stuff looked like garage doors. Goliath secured these to the tops and bottoms, and the edges. Rabbitboy started sweeping up.

The room already had a sink. Goliath hung a mirror above it. He taped off squares on the wall, suggesting for the management where they could put storage cubicles, or even lockers.

Malcolm BMX went back to their cargo bikes and took out four, plastic packets. He hung the two in the middle. Goliath and Rabbitboy hung one to each cubicle on the end. They were hanging very simple curtains. Shower curtains. Curtains covered in pictures of little French people riding bicycles with baguettes and library books in their baskets.

“Beautymous,” Goliath said, surveying their work. BMX tested the showerheads and they all ran fine. Rabbitboy put the two bikes back into the (now empty) Bike Room, left everything else in the hallway and they locked everything back up.

What was once an Engineer’s Room, was now a Shower Room for the building’s cicylists. An extension of their underutilized Bike Room.  

Outside, they were met by two fellow-travelers, allies with alibis, who took the cargo bikes and exchanged them for Goliath and BMX’s regular rides.

A mile or so away, Rabbitboy questioned the purpose of their mission to his captain again. “Shouldn’t we be filling up oil pipelines with sugar or bombing bridge projects or something?”

Malcolm BMX let the air knock his dreadlocks around a little before he answered. Then, he looked at his sidekick.

“The problem isn’t too few bikes, Rabbitboy. It’s too much sweat. We don’t need to bring bikes to the businessman, my friend. The businessman has a bike,” Malcolm BMX said, looking away from Rabbitboy and up 16th street, where the moon hung bright and knifelike above Malcolm X park, “what the businessman does not have is a place to shower before his 8:30.”

The End


Read Previous installments of Malcolm BMX

-- Malcolm BMX: The Bulldozer
-- Malcolm BMX: Dupont Circle Adventure
-- Malcolm BMX: Being Neighborly
-- Malcolm BMX: Meet the Boss
-- Malcolm BMX: Pedaling Revolution





Brady Russell works in politics. He has been a national organizer, a local organizer, a campus organizer and  is currently an Organizer with the Philadelphia Unemployment Project. He started writing in elementary school and never stopped. In fact, he remembers his second grade teacher scolding his class for not trying any of the writing exercises she had put out for them, which she finished by saying, "except for Brady and he's done all of them."

Sometime in high school he decided he would not pursue studies in writing and just try to do it himself. Brady had a few opinion pieces published in some small magazines around the country, but so far he's largely been writing in a closet and keeping his work there.

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Genius! Just get it done; it all contibutes to the revolution. Way to go! And, well-written. :-)

Don (Email) (URL) - July 19 '06 - 13:58

ha! good one

b-boy - July 24 '06 - 11:50


  
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